Relationship Advice | Getting Over a Breakup
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Q. I’ve recently come out of a horrible relationship. I’m feeling a bit low and wondering if you have any advice?
A. Ending any relationship, even a bad one, can be hard and takes time. There are normal stages you will go through…shock, grief, anger, and acceptance. Many people stay in bad relationships simply because it’s easier than change. But staying in a bad relationship is not good for anyone involved…you, your ex, children, family or friends.
Start by using this time to find yourself again, do things that make you feel good…find hobbies and activities that you enjoy, especially if it gets you out of the house and helps you meet people with similar interests.
Pamper yourself, make sure you eat healthy, meditate, get enough rest. Spend time outside, exercise…go for a walk or a hike. Spend time with people you like, people that can make you laugh. All these things can help distract you from thinking about the past for a little while, and exercise and meditation produce endorphins and hormones that boost your mood levels.
This would also be a good time to occupy yourself with working on that project you’ve been putting off for a while or volunteer to help someone else…it’s hard to feel bad when you’re accomplishing goals and doing something good.
When you find yourself thinking about something that makes you feel bad, stop…you have the power to choose how you feel. It isn’t always as easy as it sounds but it gets easier with practice. When you catch yourself feeling bad observe how you feel (all the physical feelings in your head, your chest, your breathing, etc.), then ask yourself if those thoughts and feelings are serving you in a positive way or a negative way. Pain comes from fighting against the way things are, when you learn to accept what is you can move on to dealing with the situation constructively…this works for anything in life from little inconveniences to major disasters.
With each relationship you learn more about what you want and what you don’t want in your next relationship. Take time to make a list of the characteristics you want in your perfect mate, when you know what you want you will find yourself attracting what you are looking for into your life. It also helps to take some time to learn how to communicate with the opposite sex in order to make a future relationship the best it can be.
And remember, a failed relationship only means that you just haven’t met the right person yet…they’re still out there looking for you, too!
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Tags: break up, relationship
Well for a start forget about this looser. no one deserves to be treated horribly! Secondly you need to get back your slef esteem. Go out visit your friends, build your relationship with them. also keep busy don’t sit and mope about.don’t rush into another relationship until you are 100% ready, the last thing you need is a rebound.
hope that helps hun.
Understand this. If you tried to make it work the best you could, you would walk away without ill feelings. If you only gave it half of your effort then you will feel bad. We tend to feel guilty about the things we are guilty of.
go on and have fun with your life
Go out and have as much fun as possible…Avoid places that remind you of him though, but have fun fun fun…I know it is difficult, but its the only way to get back into your own skin and feel like you are living again.
you have too have trust, and never any jealousy EVER !!!
just look forward.
Although it hurts now, you will get over it. Just remember you’re a great person who deserves to be treated great, and never let anyone treat you badly again.
Get back in touch with what makes being single great. No doubt, most people would agree that they’d rather be in a relationship, but that doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world if you’re not in one *right now*
Go out with friends. Catch up on some reading. Do social things. If you need to get it out of your system, make out with a guy or seven at the bars… nothing boosts self esteem more than feeling desired.
Stephanie my dear, keep your head up. take the time to heal and pick yourself up off the floor. make sure you spend time with your friends and try to keep your mind off it. it will be hard to do (i know!) but don’t do anything to drastic. find yourself again. forget about this person who has hurt you so bad.
If it was a horrible relationship then dont feel low. Relationships are like human bodies. If it is healthy it is best but if it get disease then the sooner is the better. In todays world there r many ppl who r ready to luv u and die for u. Just look around and U wil find someone more capable and more caring and more supportive. Be cheerful as it is newer late to begin a new life again.
Learn from it. But for now, just go out and have fun as a single girl again. Enjoy the benefits but don’t let yourself get too far. Go do the things you never could when you were in a relationship. Clear your head, take a vacation, do some cleaning, go party with your friends, and then when you think you’ve come to peace with the break up, start to reassocaite yourself with the things you couldn’t right after the break up. Once you’ve done that, give yourself a little mourning time and then, get ready to go out there and catch a good one for yourself! You go girl. You really can do it. Remember, one step at a time. Good luck.
Go do things that you want to do and don’t worry about getting back into the dating scene too early.
Try to get back to being who you really are and doing the things that made you happy before you met him/her. I’m sure that you made changes in your life to make this man/woman happy, and it didn’t work. Remember that although we will need to make adjustments in our lives to make a relationship a good one, we should never have to change who we are to make another person happy. I have been in bad relationships and it was usually a result of my partner trying to change who I really am. It tends to make one feel miserable!
Have a good cry when you need to. Ring friends and family and try and keep your mind off it. Go shopping, get your hair done, see a movie, invite friends over and have a party. Join a club or a group. Do some exercise and get those happy endorphins going. Hold your head high and feel good about yourself.
You deserve it!
Good Morning Stephanie. Well the first thing you need to do is realize that even though you are "suffering", life does go on. Also, take this time to look at the relationship and see where it went wrong. Too many times, we don’t take the necessary time to heal. We immediately jump into another relationship, only to find that the same problems that destroyed the previous relationship have carried over into this new relationship. I understand you are feeling low and your self esteem is shot. But remember, you are alive and you are not alone, God is with you and he will help give you strength. When I was divorced, I hurt and blamed myself, I wanted to cry every day, until I stopped feeling sorry for myself. I grabbed my bible and found my strength. Sweetie remember, God has a plan in which every person has a "soul mate". Take this time to find "you". And trust me, you will night be alone for long. The right guy might be someone you have never even thought about. Take Care and God Bless.
Well, the thing *not* to do is to run out and start another relationship. Ending a relationship, even a horrible one, leaves a void and for some, the natural inclination is to fill that void. Bad idea. Filling that void with the first thing that comes along is a recipe for disaster.
Instead, take some time out. Do some reading. Have dinner with friends. Take walks. Reflect a little bit on why you were in a horrible relationship and what you would do differently next time. Get a sense of yourself and enjoy *not* being in a horrible relationship. Learn a new hobby, if you have the time. Just get to feeling good about life without the other person. Eventually, and maybe even pretty quickly, you’ll get over this low feeling because life, after all, goes on.