I really wanted to share this post about the emotions that go along with making changes in a relationship, it was written by a good friend of mine, Michael Hoffman, who is also a transformational speaker.

*********************

Breaking Unwritten Contracts When You Make Change in a Relationship

All relationships are contractual. Often these contracts are unwritten and unsaid – yet they control most of the experiences of the relationship. We are typically not consciously aware of what we have agreed to with this person. During this winter time of introspection, we may become aware that a relationship that is not working for us. We seek to change the relationship.

When we change the way that we act in a relationship, we break the existing contracts that we had with this person. The person that has the contract broken on them usually feels betrayed, hurt, or angry. The person that breaks the contract often feels guilty. These dynamics tend to happen even if the contract that you are breaking is unhealthy for you and the other person. They were likely comfortable with the way that it was. The other person will often try to convince you to return to the way that it was. They may let you know how painful and inconvenient that this new way is for them.

If this is change you really want, it is essential to allow the other person to have his or her feelings, but not get seduced or talked into returning back into the way that it was. You will likely feel guilty. They will feel hurt. When I was part of a support group that was challenging contracts, we used to welcome the guilt as a sign that we were progressing in challenging our old contracts.

You replace the old contracts with new parameters on how you want the relationship to be. Parameters give you and the other person clear signals on where you are willing and not willing to go in the relationship. You then respond to the person based on your new parameters instead of the old contracts.

Over time as new grooves get established, the parameters become the new contracts. Only this time they are consciously chosen by you – so you can have the experience that you want to have with that person.

*********************

Michael writes beautiful posts, visit his site at http://michael-hoffman.blogspot.com/ to read more of his inspirational thoughts.

www.bestromancesecrets.com
Relationship Advice, Dating Tips, Romance Ideas for Singles and Couples

Related Posts

However, what men want more than a pretty face or nice body is to be ADMIRED by their partner.

The truth is most men that have affairs are CRAVING admiration.

At home, many men feel nagged and unappreciated.

At the office, they are the ‘hero’.

If a man doesn’t feel admired at home, he becomes easier prey for any woman that makes him feel respected and admired.

Understanding men is a powerful first line of defense in building a solid relationship, you will get what you want when you give them what they need.

When a woman makes her man feel admired she cloaks him in ‘affair-proof’ armor because most men would do anything not to lose her admiration.

This short video has some great tips on how to get your man to treat you right while making him feel like your hero using the Conscious Retraining Method in the Magic of Making Up manual.  No nagging involved… and for you guys reading, this works both ways.

The Magic of Making Up is usually read by people who want to get back together with their ex’s, but as you’ll hear in the video it’s also a great help to improve your relationship and prevent you from breaking up to start with.

Learning the secrets to having great relationships is an important skill you will use for the rest of your life in any relationship you have.  A great relationship brings much happiness, love, and security into your life.  Love is your reward in life.  It is well worth the time and effort to learn the valuable skills involved with romance and relationships.

Stop worrying about your partner having an affair, learn how to prevent it.  If an affair is already threatening your relationship you need to learn how to turn the situation around and repair the relationship before it gets worse…if you want to save your relationship you need a plan.

Go here to review more of the Magic of Making Up.

Visit http://www.BestRomanceSecrets.com for more relationship, dating and romance advice.

Related Posts

This information was written by Bob Grant, founder of RelationshipHeadquarters.com.

Whenever I speak with a new client there is always a challenge. This challenge is that I must manage to get enough information, while at the same time giving the client something helpful. To give someone information that is truly helpful, a counselor needs to understand that person, the details of their situation and a little bit of their history.

This is not an easy thing to accomplish in the first session. However, there is one thing that I have noticed with my female clients that believe it or not nearly all of them do. Yet, they never realize they are doing it. Often I notice them doing this in the first visit, and they are surprised that I make such an issue of it. Part of the reason that I have to point their behavior out to them is that it actually comes across as unattractive to men. So what is this insight about what women do that men find unattractive?

Most women don’t receive compliments well.

Actually, a more honest statement would be that most women are terrible at receiving compliments. They don’t want others to think they are arrogant, snobby or even worse – a bitch. But in an attempt not to appear conceited, they fail to understand how they appear to a man.

When a man compliments you, he’s actually giving you something – like a flower or a gift. If you minimize his words, he feels like you are belittling his gift. If you do that enough, you’ll train him not to give to you. In effect, you’re telling him you don’t believe the nice thing he said about you. He won’t think you’re being humble. Instead, he’ll soon believe that he was mistaken to believe you’re wonderful.

So what should you do?

When a man compliments you, smile and simply say “thank you.” Oh, I realize it sounds simple, and it is. But if you begin doing this, you’ll find that you may feel very vulnerable. To receive a compliment can be unnerving. It takes practice. But from a man’s perspective, it conveys confidence and is very attractive.

Bob Grant is a Clinically trained Licensed Professional Counselor with over 20 years experience, Media Expert on Relationships and Men, and the Best-Selling Author of 4 Books:

* The Woman Men Adore -   Click Here

* How Do I Get Him Back -   Click Here

* What Husbands Can’t Resist -  Click Here

****************************************

I have read both The Women Men Adore and Find the Man of Your Dreams and I they both contain very good information.

I think The Women Men Adore and Never Want to Leave is a book every woman should read and would benefit from, it’s good for anyone looking for a new relationship or wanting to improve an existing relationship.  I have even given it to my teenage daughters to read because I want them have the information that can help them have the happiest relationships possible.

How to Find the Man of Your Dreams is great for nailing down what qualities you would like to have in your perfect partner and determining what thoughts and habits you have that might be stopping you from finding the man of your dreams.

Feel free to click on the links above to review the books in more detail and see what special bonuses are included with them.

If you have a friend who could use a little help in the romance department then please share this with them…life is too short to waste one more minute lonely or in a relationship that is anything less than a celebration of life!

www.bestromancesecrets.com
Relationship, Dating and Romance Advice for Singles and Couples

Related Posts

• The Woman Men Adore and Never Want to Leave By Bob Grant | BusinessVn Health Tips
• Your own Compliment Magnet – Ruby Earrings | Special Gifts Blog
• Froggy 101 » Compliments – $1!
• the careful use of compliments « hal’s house of pancakes
• You can look amazing whatever your shape | What Is Wrong With The World Today
• How to Get the Man of Your Dreams and Romance Your Way Into His Heart | 9DOWNSOFT Dating – Friends – Relationships
• The Best Places to Meet a Man of Your Dreams
• San Diego Singles – San Diego Dating – Meet Singles in San Diego | Dating.Businessvn.Net – Dating and Relationships
• How to get the man of your dreams « real women. real advice.
• Consumer Products Overview » Blog Archive » Get Him Back Even If He Has Moved On

Do you keep attracting the wrong type of people into your life.

Are you having trouble finding the person you want to spend the rest of your life with?

How would you like to change your luck and learn how to attract your perfect mate!

By now just about everyone has heard of the Law of Attraction, creating in your life what you desire.  Most people associate this with money, but it works for anything…love included.

The key to getting what you want is to know what you want.  In the book, How to Find the Man of Your Dreams, author Bob Grant says you need to clearly define what traits you are looking for in your perfect person.  Take 5 minutes and brainstorm, write down anything you can think of that you would find attractive in your perfect mate.  When you’re done narrow it down to the three you feel are most important.

Be sure to think in terms of positive thoughts, for example you should say, “I want someone who has a happy, positive attitude,” instead of, “I don’t want someone who fights or argues all the time.”  You will attract what you think about, and if you are thinking about what you don’t want that is exactly what you will end up getting.

I love the true story of just how fast the law of attraction can work to attract someone into your life in this infomercial for the popular set of cd’s titled “Your Wish is Your Command – How to Manifest Your Desires”.

Another great product from Cincopa Send Files. Cincopa video hosting solution for your website.

(You can get Your Wish is Your Command at 75% off the regular price at this web site: http://mindshiftrevolution.info)

You’ve heard the saying that the definition of insanity it doing the same things over and over again, expecting different results.  If you want something in your life to change you have to change something in your life…which usually starts with what you think.  If you’re not happy with the people you’ve been dating then you need to figure out where the problem is.

I’ve read these books and I think they’re right-on for helping determine what might be stopping you from finding your perfect partner, I highly recommend taking the time to check them out.

How to Find the Man of Your Dreams

The Women Men Adore…and Never Want to Leave

I’ve also listened to Your Wish is Your Command, learning the real secret to using the law of attraction is something everyone could benefit from.  I only wish I had listened to it months ago.  Watch the video above and then go to http://mindshiftrevolution.info/your-wish-is-your-command to read the story behind the creation of Your Wish is Your Command.

Wishing you success!

Depression makes people think irrationally and causes them to be blind to the good things in life, like you.  You may feel like everything you do to try and make their world a little better is a wasted effort.  It isn’t, though.

The fact that you are there beside them means more to them than you will ever realize.  They wouldn’t blame you for leaving and will sometimes try and make the decision easier for you.  They don’t really want you to leave, though.  They want you to be with them and help if you can.

The first thing that you can do to help them deal with their depression is to understand it.  Educate yourself about this mental disorder.  Try to discover  what causes it, depression can be hereditary or caused by some other physical condition that should be diagnosed by a physician.  It could be because they lost a job or did something that brought on a feeling of failure.  There are many reasons that it could have started but one thing is certain, even if you have a strong relationship, once depression has begun it can snowball.  Boosting serotonin levels with meditation can be helpful, there are cd’s and downloadable meditation mp3’s available, although medication may be necessary to help with this in more extreme cases.

You will need to make sure that you take care of yourself in this relationship. Depression, gone unchecked, can be contagious.  When you are learning about depression make sure that you are watching for signs that you may be exhibiting symptoms as well.  If you are then you should be quick in seeking help from psychologists or counselors.  Once both of you start falling into depression it may be impossible for either of you to see the light of day.  When you start getting worn down because of the weight of it all you need to try and take some time to step back away from it and take care.

A past relationship and depression sometimes go hand in hand.  When a relationship has failed it is easy to feel like every relationship after that is doomed to fail.  Once someone begins feeling that way they will many times turn their current relationships in to a failed one.  If this has begun to happen it is important to get relationship advice from marriage counselors and work with them to prevent it.  This is not the only reason that marriages or dating relationships fail while one is in depression, but the strain will cause it to suffer.  Seek relationship advice from trained professionals as much as possible.

Above all, do not give up. Believe that you can help them overcome their depression and believe that the effort you are making matters.  There are few things more powerful than what can come from a strong relationship. Depression is a tough foe but it can be beaten when the one you love has you to depend on.  With a strong relationship depression can be beat.

Related articles by Zemanta

• Why Antidepressants Don’t Work for Everyone (nlm.nih.gov)
• Study: Doctors Don’t Always Spot Depression (time.com)
• Analysis shows genetic link between major mood disorders (arstechnica.com)

Free Ebook

A passionate connection to another person is something that most people want more than anything else in life.  It comes from not only a physical attraction, but even more importantly, a deep emotional one as well.  A person can have success, and even a partner, but will always feel that there is something missing if they don’t have that strong, passionate connection with someone.

Some people search their whole lives looking for it, a few get lucky and find it, sadly, most never realize the full potential of their relationship.   This kind of bond can last a lifetime and smooth over any problems in a relationship, but without this passion even small problems can seem big.

In order to build a relationship like this I find it starts by having a deep respect for who your partner is as a person, are they someone who you would stand up and protect without hesitation if someone was talking about them?  Do you trust that they would do the same for you?

Building a connection requires a dedication of time to give to each other on a regular basis…daily when possible, sometimes just doing little things to remind them every day that they are important to you…a hug, a love note, a little flirting, sometimes it can be more…like cooking a special dinner or giving a massage while watching a show.  Don’t wait for special occasions to show someone how much you love them.

This kind of love is upbuilding, it is a place of refuge, it requires an unselfish heart.  There is little room for pride in this kind of relationship because what you want most is your partner’s happiness. This doesn’t come easy to a lot of people, it takes practice to develop a humble attitude, to think before speaking, to understand what your partner really means when they say something, to not get defensive or say hurtful thing at times, especially if you feel wronged.

A beautiful relationship is cultivated like a beautiful garden, if carefully tended to daily it will continue to grow and thrive and be a source of great joy.  If you neglect the garden weeds will start growing, and if left unattended for long it will no longer be a place of beauty and joy, just as problems will become overgrown in an unattended relationship.

Here are some ideas for planning a romantic evening to get you started.   Your choices will depend on your budget, but a special evening doesn’t need to be expensive.  Just remember the idea is to keep it simple and focus on spending quality time with your partner.

*Special note for men – cleaning the house is an extra special treat for your ladies.

• Make dinner and a dessert.  Don’t make anything too complicated or time consuming, you don’t want to spend all your time cooking or worrying about cleaning.  An easy pasta dish like spaghetti or a dish you can make ahead of time like lasagna are great.  You can also order in.
• Strawberries dipped in chocolate are an easy dessert to make and fun to feed to each other later on.
• Set a nice table, use candles, flowers, and flute glasses to set a special mood. Write a poem, make a card, or find some other romantic way to express your feelings and set it on the table for your partner to find. Play some romantic background music, or make a cd of favorite love songs.
• After dinner you can:

* Go for a walk
* Sit by the fire and talk (if there is no fireplace use candles)
* Look through pictures/photo albums
* Get to know each other better with 1000 Questions For Couples
* Play a romantic game such as An Enchanted Evening
* Watch a movie, although I recommend activities with more quality time…that is what tonight is about
* Eat dessert

• At some point try to find a way to sneak away, run a bubble bath and light some candles in the bathroom and the bedroom.  You could sprinkle rose petals in the bath, over the bed and a path from the bedroom and bathroom down the hall for an extra romantic touch.
• Lead your partner to the bath and help them undress and get into the bathtub.  Take turns washing each other.   Have fun teasing a little here, but don’t go too far yet.
• After the bath wrap your partner in a towel and lead them to the bedroom for a nice massage before making love.

300 Creative Date Ideas

Relationship, Dating and Romance Advice for Men and Women
http://www.bestromancesecrets.com

Have you made plans for Valentine’s Day yet?

How about a Free Romantic Cruise…

3-Day / 2-Night Cruise to The Bahamas
Free Meals, Accommodations, Entertainment and Fun!

Cruises 4 Free Complimentary Cruise

*Pay only the port fees and taxes of $59 per person

Be sure to read, “The 7 Biggest Mistakes People Make on Cruises,” so you can spend your time focusing on having fun with each other.

Related articles by Zemanta

• CruiseNow.com Encourages Travelers on a Budget to Take Advantage of the Recession’s Affordable Cruise Deals (prweb.com)
• How to save money while on board a cruise ship (gadling.com)
• Cruise Vacation Packages At Incredible Rates (slideshare.net)

It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach..

One human hair can support 3kg (6.6 lb) .

The average man’s penis is three times the length of his thumb.

Human thighbones are stronger than concrete..

A woman’s heart beats faster than a man’s.

There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.

Women blink twice as often as men.

The average person’s skin weighs twice as much as the brain.

Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.

If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.

Women reading this will be finished now.

Men are still busy checking their thumbs.

*****************

Free Special Report:  The 5 Big Sex Myths

Related articles by Zemanta

• Bacteria and the Human Body (blisstree.com)

www.BestRomanceSecrets.com Romance, Dating, and Relationship Secrets for Men and Women

Do you want to get him back?  If you had a close, loving relationship with a man who later dumped you, you may want to get back together.  You have a lot of emotional investment in the relationship, and may not want to throw it away without an attempt to reignite the flame. Here’s how to get him back.

First of all, you need to analyze your own feelings.  Do you still care deeply about your ex?  Sometimes a great passion burns into being merely comfortable.  You don’t want to lose your ex because he’s like an old slipper.  But comfort doesn’t make a great relationship.   There has to be a great love.  If you still have passionate feelings for your old boyfriend, you can move onto the next step of how to get him back.

And that next step is examining how he feels about you.  Does he have the same kind of grand love?   If the problems in the relationship were things you can work on – communication, time management, goal awareness – then you can get him back.  But, if the problem was deeper – he was no longer in love with you – you should start to move on now.

When you have determined that this was a grand love, you can start to work on the things that can bring you back together.  For instance, think back to who you were when your boyfriend fell for you.  Perhaps you weighed 10 pounds less, had a more optimistic outlook on life, were close to your girlfriends, or were involved in a variety of activities.

After you spend time with a guy, you begin to change.  You spend less time with girlfriends or on your own activities as he begins to demand more of your presence.  You may have let yourself go because you felt secure in his affection.

If you want to win him back, you need to go back to being the woman he fell in love with.

Another tip on how to win him back is to practice detachment.  Don’t call, text, or stalk him.  You don’t want to appear desperate.  By seeming to accept the situation, you actually become more desirable to him.

In practicing detachment, you also begin to focus on what makes you happy. You get reconnected to friends and family.  You take up hobbies and other things which interest you.  You become a more positive person in general. This all helps in winning him back.

When you do get together with your ex from time to time, use the past to your advantage.  For instance, if there was an outfit he really liked to see you in, wear it.  If you eat at a restaurant where you had a good time with him, mention that you were there again.  Because you have many positive experiences with this guy, you can use your common history to get him back.

From time to time, invite your ex to non-committal type events.  Ask him to join a group of your friends at a bar or invite him to a party.  Let him know he’s free to bring a date.

Finally, if you want to win him back, just be yourself.  Either he’s in love with you or he isn’t. You can’t change who you are to get him back.  You can only be yourself.

Click here for more tips on how to get him back.

Read more relationship articles and get a free ebook perfect for Valentines Day, “101 Romantic Ideas,” at www.BestRomanceSecrets.com

Related articles by Zemanta

• Is he really a prince? Think about it (thestar.com)
• The Gift of Forgiveness – a Must for Living Well! (thrivingmind.org)

• How To Weigh Yourself Correctly (howcast.com)
• Lose weight by weighing less: bad taunt, good science! (flowingmotion.wordpress.com)