How to Get Over a Break Up
Wednesday, December 30th, 2009Sometimes moving on (getting over a break up, loss or other major change) 
is difficult. It’s rarely easy unless you’re so glad to get out of a situation that you can’t wait to make changes and move on. A break up disrupts your whole life. Everything you do and see seems to remind you of your ex. If you had many mutual friends, even going out to keep from feeling lonely or restless can be difficult.
One of the biggest hurdles you have to face when you’re ready to move on is your family and friends. You’re probably going to get tired of answering questions about the situation. You must explain to them that you’re moving on, the break up is over, and that you don’t want to be constantly reminded of your ex and the past relationship.
Sometimes dealing with a break up is difficult for family, especially if your ex was popular with your family. They want to keep bringing up the person in the hopes that you’ll get back together. You can just say, “Moving on, break up is over, that’s that.” Eventually they’ll come around because they’re your family and they love you.
It might be harder to deal with when it comes to your friends. If you didn’t have many mutual friends, then it should be less of a problem. But if the two of you often hung out with the same group of people, then you going alone to be with those friends is going to seem strange to everyone for a while. And then there’s the problem of your ex wanting to hang out with the friends, too. You might even run into each other as you each attempt to hang out with your mutual friends. This doesn’t mean that it’s necessary when you’re moving on to break up with your friends. It’s just simply going to be more difficult to maintain some of those friendships once the relationship is over.
As difficult as it seems, when you say, “Moving on, the break up is history,” you may have to give up some of those friendships. You and your ex may each have to keep in touch with only certain friends in your group of mutual friends. Just try to maintain good contact and relationships with those you’re closest to and allow your ex to do the same with the others. While this can be painful, it’s probably easiest on everyone because they don’t have to choose which of you to be loyal to and which to avoid.
Sometimes the “moving on break up” period is just too difficult when you’re surrounded by mutual friends and so many places to go together. If you can take some time away once you’ve declared “moving on; break up over” then it can help you a great deal. If possible, go on a vacation to get away from the same scenery and people. Take a vacation with a friend who isn’t involved in the situation; maybe a friend of yours who wasn’t friends with your ex. This can help provide a distraction from your current situation and give you a whole new perspective…and who knows who you might meet or where it will lead.
I always like to believe things happen for a reason, and when you look back you can usually see that it’s true, it’s just hard to believe while going through painful situations. Romans 5:3-5 says to rejoice in problems and trials, for it develops endurance, strength of character, and our confident hope…and this hope will not lead to disappointment…for he fills our hearts with his love (through these trials). Life is a journey, your soulmate is out there, keep looking until you find them.
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